My Awakening Journey

Since I was a little girl, I knew that I was different from everyone. I was such a kind soul and just wanted kindness and love for everyone. I quickly found out how cruel this world really is and how cruel humanity can be. I was bullied and picked on relentlessly in elementary school; so much so that I had to change schools in order to get away from it. As a child, I was also very sensitive, emotionally and spiritually, so childhood was very difficult for me. The cruelty of children and humanity made me close off a large part of myself to the world to protect myself and survive. Growing up in a sheltered, small town didn't help LOL.

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 Fast forward to young adult hood and in my second year of college. I met my child's father. He was good-looking, charming and swept me off my feet! Little did I know that when you're swept off your feet, you're in the perfect position to be dropped right on your ass.  The first year of our relationship went well, or so I thought. Then the red flags started appearing but I dismissed them as nothing more than me being paranoid or "crazy". I was told multiple times that he was cheating on me and not a good person. But, being the stubborn person that I am, refused to believe such things because how could someone do that to another human being and hurt them so badly. As time went on, more red flags popped up and became bigger and more pronounced. But, by the time I was ready to face the reality of the situation, I found out I was pregnant with our child. I felt like I was trapped and had to stick things out to make sure our child had a home with both parents, because that was what I thought children needed. The mental, emotional and financial abuse had been taking place our whole relationship as he conditioned me to think a certain way, feel a certain way and made me believe that I couldn't survive without him financially. The physical abuse didn't start until towards the end of my pregnancy when he slapped me, pushed me down to the ground and spit in my face. It was then that I knew things would never get better, only worse. But, with a child so close to being born, what was I going to do? I dealt with everything by ignoring everything and closing myself off to protect myself from the embarrassment of it. I was ashamed that he had taken over my life so completely and that I had nothing and no one left. The cheating and the abuse continued on after my son was born...until I had finally had enough. I got the courage to leave when he punched me in the throat in front of our child and his friends. I packed up my son and all of our stuff that I was able to carry, struggling to breathe and walked out the door. I walked for a while before I called my mother to come pick us up and bring us home. 

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I knew that that relationship was not the norm and not okay. I also knew that I needed to take time to heal; to heal from all of the abuse, to heal the relationship with my friends and family, to heal mentally and, most importantly, to heal the relationship with myself. I knew that that was the most important thing I could do because the abuse WASN'T my fault. It had NOTHING to do with me, who I was as a person or anything like that...I DID NOT DESERVE THAT, no matter how much he tried to convince me I did. In order to heal, I had to be honest with myself about what had happened, process it and work through how it all had effected me as well as my friends and family. As I worked through it all, I realized that I had to change my inner monologue, my thought processes and my mindset. I was very open about what had happened with everyone I spoke to, as I felt it would be helpful in the healing process. I was in a Speech class in college and I actually gave a speech to my class about what had happened to me. It was while giving this speech and looking at the pity in the faces of my peers that I had a realization. I didn't want their pity. I did not want them to feel sorry for me, not even a little bit. What I DID want, was for them to realize the signs of abuse and to take action, instead of sitting on the sidelines. I wanted them to continue to be supportive of friends or family that may be going through a similar situation and not abandon them. I wanted them to see me as a SURVIVOR...not a victim. I didn't see myself as a victim, so they shouldn't see me as one either. In that moment, I changed my mindset about my whole world completely.

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That specific moment in time, that specific class, made me want to help people. If I figured out how to help myself and heal myself after a traumatic event, I knew I could help others heal as well. I just didn't know how to get started on that path so I just kept on doing the "human thing." It wasn't until earlier this year (2023) that I had my awakening and set me on my path to help others heal themselves. 

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At the end of April 2023, my friend invited me to go to a Metaphysical Fair with her. At first, I was going to decline because "people-ing" didn't appeal to me. Beign around people and crowds physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted me, even if I wasn't talking or actively participating with anyone. But I figured, "Why the hell not?" I got up, got myself ready and mentally prepared myself to be in a crowd of people. I mean, if I was going to be around people, why not a group of people who would understand how I'm feeling and vibes right?  As we walked into the building, there was a table set up to showcase all of the psychics, tarot readers, mediums, etc. I was immediately drawn to a woman who was an Akashic Record Reader. I had NO idea what that was at the time. My friends signed up with other people and asked me if I was going to get a reading done. My first answer was "no, I'm just here to look at all the stuff for sale." But, my guides and higher self had other plans for me. I went back to that table 3 more times before signing up for a time slot with that woman. I waited HOURS to see this woman. When I finally sat down at her table, she had the warmest, most inviting and knowing smile on her face. Like we have known each other FOREVER. She asked me, "what brings you to my table today?" I replied, "I honestly have no idea. I was drawn to you for some reason and I don't know why." So, we started chatting about things and I opened up to this woman faster than I normally would have. After a little bit, she smiled at me again with a "knowing" smile, and said, "did you know that you're an ET?" Exsqueeze me?! Bacon Powder?! WHAT?!!?!?! What does that even mean? I let out an audible giggle and said "ummmmm......what does that even mean??" At this point, I was thinking that this lady is bonkers, has gone 'round the bend, and is drinking some kind of crazy Kool-Aid. She went on to explain that my soul was not an "earth soul", or a soul that orginated for Earth incarnations, but an "alien soul" that was put into a human body to help raise the collective consciousness for the upcoming shift. She also explained that, because my soul has so much light, that that is why I have chronic illnesses that can't be explained and also why I've had so much "bad shit" happen to me. It all made so much sense! I was absolutely shook. 

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After that encounter, I had to know more. I was raised in the Catholic religion, but I never felt "at home" in that religion...or any other for that matter. None of it resonated or aligned with me and what I truly believed. This information that this woman had disclosed to me, resonated so deeply and made so much sense, that I just HAD to know more. But, I will tell you, a Google search of "E.T. Soul" does not yield good results LOL. Or at least not ones that I felt were accurate or informational. As I SCOURED the internet, I came across the term "Starseed". I had heard of it before but just a few times and didn't take too much stock in it. Why? Because people are weird and believe in weird things lol. It's not that I didn't "believe" in it or thought it was impossible, I was just ignorant about the subject and had decided to stay that way....until now. I changed my search terms to include the phrase "starseed" and came across the "Starseed Awakening Podcast" by Monet Florence-Combs. After listening to the episodes about her awakening story, I was hooked and felt a tug to know more and keep going. I felt and inner knowing that THIS was going to lead me to the answer of all my life's questions. I had always felt like I was meant for something more, something bigger but could never put my finger on what that was exactly. I felt like I was FINALLY going to figure out what that "something" was.

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I listened to every podcast episode that was available and decided that it was time for me to figure out if I was, in fact, a starseed, determine my galactic lineage and what my purpose was in life. I went to Monet's website (www.thestarseedawakener.com) and booked an appointment with a Quantum Healer. I was so nervous because I have never done hypnosis and wasn't even sure I COULD be hypnotized because I'm a control freak and ADHD. I had tried meditation in the past and couldn't quite "do it" because my mind was always "on." My first hypnosis session didn't go quite as planned because of a lot of technical difficulties. So we booked a second session, and, SUCCESS!!

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In between my first and second session, I knew that this is something I wanted to do too. I wanted to help people on their journey's like I had been helped! I applied for Monet's Quantum Healer Certification program and I got an email 2 days prior to my second session that a spot had opened up in her upcoming course. I quickly applied and eagerly awaited to see if I had been accepted. After the coming out of hypnosis on the second session, I saw that I had received the acceptance email during the session! I was so freaking excited and knew that it was meant to be! 

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During the course, we had practice hypnosis sessions with our peers and I discovered SO MUCH MORE than I could EVER have dreamed of. Not only did I discover past lives, but I also discovered that I have a parallel-self out there somewhere; that my fiance is, in fact my "soul mate" and has been for many, many life times and so much more. But, most importantly, I discovered my TRUE SELF.

 

There are truly no words to describe how that feels.

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